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G@ttoGiallo
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G@tto: On SALE in South Sardinia

Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

April 01, 2012

Promoting 'Skype for String' [Beta]


It's easy to get started with Skype for String. All that you'll need is two cups
and
a piece of string with a minimum bandwidth of 5mm. Skype for String will
work
with any cup and string, but for the best results, we suggest using a Skype
certified
set. Find out more about using Skype for String:

____
[
Learning more...]

December 17, 2010

Holy Xmas and the epitome of feline sensibility

Any cat lover knows how much his creature, as Simon's cat, is sensitive to human
traditions
...

[simonscat]

Simon's C@t official site.
___

August 31, 2010

Absolut hilarious, believe your faithful G@tto !

How to cook the royal clam... straight from Radio Canada and so froggy !

- Francis Reddy, Diouf and the whole team of 'Des kiwis et des hommes'
crying with laughter...



(SyQuEsTsr)
___

April 21, 2009

Mac vs PC : a Computer's Fight.


(Peacer)
Written & Directed by Dan Chianelli & Nick Greenlee.

Thank you guys !

March 31, 2009

This is pure gold !


Before I continue with the French & Italian
coast pics, I ought to post this :

(found in my today's mail).


"These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things
people ACTUALLY said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place".


ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_______

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_______

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_______

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_______

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
_______

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
_______

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid.
_______

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you for real? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?
_______

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
_______

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_______

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_______

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to
rephrase that?
_______

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_______

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
_______

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh.....are you qualified to ask that question?
_______

And the best for last :

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
_______

Search Google to find more.

March 21, 2009

SanBitter, Arf Arf !

I like it !


(hotelomm)
________

Last Charlie Todd's Hoax - Lol !


50 Improv Everywhere agents
create and art gallery opening
on a subway platform.
..





(improveverywhere)





(My virtual and modest
contribution to the show).

March 04, 2009

Indiana under shock...

Indi cat has always been screenproof.
He never reacted to TV or computer screens... until today !


(G@ttoGiallo)

This Paul Williams' video disconcerted him.

It's a shame I've failed recording his first reaction at Paul's "singing cat"
... but I was too stunned myself by his behaviour, as he was watching
the cat, then coming to and fro on desk and keyboard, actively searching
where the whines were coming from.

__________


February 16, 2009

Nice joke from the web... Lol !


Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living
room and I said to her :
"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent
on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug".

She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out
my wine.

She's such a bitch...



December 27, 2008

October 23, 2008

When it comes to optical Cats !



Cat lovers...
will prefer the cat for sure,
isn't it ?







This one starring here looks optically satisfied.
(Click below to see the video)
















(Video by wwwsikhote / Discovered on Moillusions.com)

October 17, 2008

I couldn't resist and posted this...

A great street show in Nigeria !


(by tosche22)


... and later, added 2 more, because the show must go on !


(by preplan)


... and it does !
In Manila and NY and in many other places where people know better !



(by snubbens)

September 13, 2008

G@tto's Daily Scam - Let's Eat some 419s !

Today I've got a good 419 scam in my junk box !

All G@tto's readers know that his Granny's property in Sardinia is on sale and anyone
is able to click on the
pic in PPG's sidebar and take a virtual tour inside the house...
but Craig asks for pictures, which means he doesn't know PPG
, so let's bait him !

Well, the game is just beginning !




fm : Craig Hamper
to : G@ttoGiallo
object : Granny's property in a south east sardinian village
september 13/ 2008 16:45
I am intrested in buying your Granny's property In a south east sardinian village.
Let me know if it is still available. I am ready to buy now, kindly give me a final
asking price and more information.

Regards,
Craig

fm : G@ttoGiallo
to : craighamper@yahoo.com
object : Granny's property in a south east sardinian village
september 13/2008 17:10
So you buy houses without visiting ? The final price, anyway, is 450,000 euros.
G@tto.

September 13/ 2008 18:28
I have gone through the details, I and my younger sister Kathy just got our inheritance
from our late dad and planning to relocate. I have gone through the details, I will appreciate
if you can send me pictures of in and out of the building all through.
I will give you
indormation to write invoice and will request for your bank information and make payment
immediately I finalise with Kathy.
Pls do respond fast and also with your phone numbers,
incluse the country code as well so I dont have any problems calling. We should be on our
way by November.

Regards, Craig

September 14/2008 02:36
What a coincidence ! I have inherited the house from my grandpa and you're planning to buy
it with your daddy's inheritance !
You know you're lucky ? As a matter of fact, this property
is a very good investment for you and your sister Kathy. You pay 500,000 €, you transform
the place in a B&B with a nice cafeteria with 250,000 more € and then... you just wait your
customers and their cash. Nice program, isn't it ?
Now I have to get in touch with my mother -
I assume you love and respect your mother as well, so you can understand I ought to ask my
mother's opinion. I'll phone her tomorrow.
Honestly, I think the negotiation is too young to let
you know my personal phone or accounts numbers. Let's know each other a little more first,
tell me something about Kathy and yourself, where do you live, your occupations, your hobbies,
if you like geckos and sloths, etc.
I live in Paris.
Regards. G@tto.

Septembre 14/2008 07:22
Good day,
What a co incidence it is, I first want to thank you for your own ideas and it is going to be better
meeting you in person sometime. Am 45 and Kathy is 33 yrs old widow. I will wait till you get
resposne from you mom before we can proceed.

What do you intend doing after yu sell this property to us? nothing personal but just asking.
I am waiting for your response and I already talked to my sister about it.

Your fast response will be appreciated.
Regards, Craig

Stay tuned !

September 04, 2008

David's summer vacation...




















This is the David everybody knows...
I mean, until last July, when he packed up
for a 2 months "cultural" sojourn in the States.





















Now, this is David, back at work, in September...

Spaghetti or hamburger ?
Any comments ?

(Sent to G@tto by mail)

April 30, 2008

An appropriate Logo








The New International Symbol
for Gasoline...



.......................o
.......................

March 09, 2008

I'm suspecting Indiana...

... of subscribing to beauty contests behind my back !



We had a scene, yesterday, when I found
a stamp and a printed pic in his pocket
- a shot I know he likes
(he's acting Hamlet) -
pinned to a paw-written paper saying :
I'm Indi
in a million and I'm worth it"... !!! ?
He grinned and out he went, slamming
the door...

Ouch, feeling like hard times are coming.




*

March 07, 2008

From Moscow with Laughs !

A video from the Moscow Google's Team
featuring
the
Gmail interface... lol !

Catering >
- 162 meters of gray tape - 45 lego pieces - 32 sticks of plasticine
- 18 brushes - 18 square meters of batten - 12 cans of spray paint - 10 liters
of white paint
- 4 reams of paper - 2 kilograms of millet porridge - 1 printer -
1 hair dryer
- 1 mop - 1 saw.
(GoogleRU)

... and for the "M" at the end of the video :
3 sweaters - 3 balls - 3 pillows - 2 dumbbells - 2 pair of gloves
- a set of child's plates - a hockey stick - a scarf - a paper folder
- hats and slippers.

___

February 13, 2008

Charlie Todd on a Frozen Prank !

This guy Charlie just invented
the WebSize Candid Camera

Improv Everywhere causes scenes of chaos and joy in public places.
Created in August of 2001 by
Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere
has executed over 70
missions involving thousands of undercover
agents. The group is based in New York City.

Thanks Charlie for such a great idea !

(ImprovEverywhere)

Hey, take a look at the other (more than 70) Happenings, or Missions...
or, even better, think about it and do it yourself !

December 23, 2007

"Humeur" avant les Fêtes.

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les traducteurs automatiques,
ceci devrait vous aider à prendre une décision...







Alors ?
Pour ou contre la traduction automatique ?



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